Mookie (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mookieghana) wrote,@ 2008-03-31 15:33:00 |
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It is warmer in Arizona~!
It's snowing here. This is not "happy making fun rock snow". This is "I can't believe we are getting several inches of snow and it's almost April in Minnesota" snow. GRRR~!
So, instead I will post something from Summer of 2006 that makes me laugh.
Here goes the Ninja with the Ninja review of the Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
OK, I don't want to spoil it for anybody who might not have seen it yet so I'll tell you this one little thing, just to give you some context - It's a horrible movie.
I went and did the research on like how they came up with this movie and basically, it was inspired by old-school robot pirates. Like, like,
I'm talking Chuckie Cheese style, like sub-Chuckie cheese style. That is where they were starting from the movie and then they basically took a step backwards.
It’s worse than bad, animatronics pirates.
The structure of the movie, the best that I can tell you is like they loaded about 4 or 5 different screenplays in a shotgun and than just pulled the trigger and sent somebody around, like a P.A. around, to pick random words and piece them together and then hand that to the actors and even that script was lost about halfway through shooting and then the director just made it up everyday. He was just like, "And then today this person shows up and there are pirates”.
The other thing about this movie is everybody was a pirate. Just everybody. If you were in the first movie and you weren't a pirate, you're now a pirate in this movie.
Everybody gets to be a pirate. Its ridiculous how many pirates there were. I am not just saying this because I don’t like pirates.
I just am telling you there were just too many pirates. Some of them were fish pirates and some of them were always been pirates and some of them were half dead and some of them were full dead and some of them were just pretending to be pirates.
The only thing that there are more than pirates in this movie are plotlines. Everybody gets a plotline. If you are a dog you get a plotline. If you are a ship you definitely get a plotline. All the ships get a good plotline, the ocean gets a plotline. If you are just a single body part, a lot of times you have your plotline. If you're just an eye or a heart or something, you get a whole story but they don’t finish any of them. They think about it but they just keep adding more plotlines. Like literally the last line of the movie is a new plotline. It’s the Never Ending story but with no luck dragon.
One other overall note about the movie that I thought about the movie very interesting was the entire cast with the exception of Keira Knightley, was women and I thought that was a bold choice. All the pirates - you can tell because of the heavy effeminate eye make-up and the long haired wigs. If you don’t know Keira Knightley, she is kind of a slightly more mannish version of Orlando Bloom. And the direction.. I don’t know there actually was a director but I'm told, a name came up and it said Gore Verbinski. I will tell you this much - it could have used a lot more Gore and a lot less Verbinski (which I think is Russian for bad dialogue).
The big thing that they're fighting this whole time is this Cracken thing, nobody can beat the Cracken that nobody can beat. Cracken. Cracken. Cracken. Trust me, I have fought a Cracken. Cracken. Cracken. Cracken. It's not that hard!
If this movie was called Ninjas of the Caribbean. Ninjas just don’t amble around doing bad Keith Richard impersonations. We get the job done. If there's a chest, it doesn’t matter if there is a dead man in it or dead man on it or a dead man - we're going to get the chest and get it back.
Ninjas of the Caribbean would be a great movie and by the way there is just an alleged pirate code. I don’t think that exist because they go against it. There is no honor amongst the pirates and apparently there is no honor amongst the film makers because whoever made this film didn’t really care about the fact that it was going to be terrible.
Here is my advice to you regarding this movie to you. Save your money! Just dress up like a clown and jump into a Giant aquarium and sing the Lyrics to “Hit me with the best shot” by Pat Benatar backwards. At least that will make more sense than Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's chest. Wait a minute.. There wasn’t even a Dead Man in it.
It's snowing here. This is not "happy making fun rock snow". This is "I can't believe we are getting several inches of snow and it's almost April in Minnesota" snow. GRRR~!
So, instead I will post something from Summer of 2006 that makes me laugh.
Here goes the Ninja with the Ninja review of the Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
OK, I don't want to spoil it for anybody who might not have seen it yet so I'll tell you this one little thing, just to give you some context - It's a horrible movie.
I went and did the research on like how they came up with this movie and basically, it was inspired by old-school robot pirates. Like, like,
I'm talking Chuckie Cheese style, like sub-Chuckie cheese style. That is where they were starting from the movie and then they basically took a step backwards.
It’s worse than bad, animatronics pirates.
The structure of the movie, the best that I can tell you is like they loaded about 4 or 5 different screenplays in a shotgun and than just pulled the trigger and sent somebody around, like a P.A. around, to pick random words and piece them together and then hand that to the actors and even that script was lost about halfway through shooting and then the director just made it up everyday. He was just like, "And then today this person shows up and there are pirates”.
The other thing about this movie is everybody was a pirate. Just everybody. If you were in the first movie and you weren't a pirate, you're now a pirate in this movie.
Everybody gets to be a pirate. Its ridiculous how many pirates there were. I am not just saying this because I don’t like pirates.
I just am telling you there were just too many pirates. Some of them were fish pirates and some of them were always been pirates and some of them were half dead and some of them were full dead and some of them were just pretending to be pirates.
The only thing that there are more than pirates in this movie are plotlines. Everybody gets a plotline. If you are a dog you get a plotline. If you are a ship you definitely get a plotline. All the ships get a good plotline, the ocean gets a plotline. If you are just a single body part, a lot of times you have your plotline. If you're just an eye or a heart or something, you get a whole story but they don’t finish any of them. They think about it but they just keep adding more plotlines. Like literally the last line of the movie is a new plotline. It’s the Never Ending story but with no luck dragon.
One other overall note about the movie that I thought about the movie very interesting was the entire cast with the exception of Keira Knightley, was women and I thought that was a bold choice. All the pirates - you can tell because of the heavy effeminate eye make-up and the long haired wigs. If you don’t know Keira Knightley, she is kind of a slightly more mannish version of Orlando Bloom. And the direction.. I don’t know there actually was a director but I'm told, a name came up and it said Gore Verbinski. I will tell you this much - it could have used a lot more Gore and a lot less Verbinski (which I think is Russian for bad dialogue).
The big thing that they're fighting this whole time is this Cracken thing, nobody can beat the Cracken that nobody can beat. Cracken. Cracken. Cracken. Trust me, I have fought a Cracken. Cracken. Cracken. Cracken. It's not that hard!
If this movie was called Ninjas of the Caribbean. Ninjas just don’t amble around doing bad Keith Richard impersonations. We get the job done. If there's a chest, it doesn’t matter if there is a dead man in it or dead man on it or a dead man - we're going to get the chest and get it back.
Ninjas of the Caribbean would be a great movie and by the way there is just an alleged pirate code. I don’t think that exist because they go against it. There is no honor amongst the pirates and apparently there is no honor amongst the film makers because whoever made this film didn’t really care about the fact that it was going to be terrible.
Here is my advice to you regarding this movie to you. Save your money! Just dress up like a clown and jump into a Giant aquarium and sing the Lyrics to “Hit me with the best shot” by Pat Benatar backwards. At least that will make more sense than Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's chest. Wait a minute.. There wasn’t even a Dead Man in it.
